Some People call me the space cowboy...

eggsbenedict-cumbersloth:

“What do you call a dog with sunglasses? a hot dog” the crowd boos loudly, forcing you off stage. A rotten tomato hits you in the back of the head and hits the floor. You look at the floor and realize the tomato is just like your dreams, all messy and filled with blood, lots of blood. You’re tearing up and look up at the ceiling, and with a single tear rolling down your cheek you say, “why must we play God…”

fucking ufh i rean nout fo the iwn eis iiiiiiiiiiiiiwa sa lowed to hasz wowowiowiweeer

i goin to pebed byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

dogscape:

sschol:

dogscape:

according to my dad tumblr is “esoteric

well i hadnt thought about it before but this statement has caused a paradigm shift, and its rather true that tumblrs exoskeleton is difficult to rupture and penetrate. hmm, fucked up.

haha penetrate

michaelpalin:

i dont understand the pleasure in sexting 

like ok what if i got a text that was like ‘oh my dick is hard’ like

what would

?????

how do i respond??

‘i’m so happy for you’

flipphones:

the most important thing i’ve learnt in all my years is that it is a terrible idea to drink from a cup while lying down

hajimeaoyama:

i’m so glad you can’t have signatures on tumblr like you can on forums holy shit that would be so fucking annoying can you imagine how many people would put like 50 fucking superwholock gifs in theirs

guys kangaroos are form austraila and so is ihtis wine im drinkign. amdn you australians and ur fucking wine.


But really though can you make a flowere crown ou t o f broccoli?